i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize