My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
