Cold hands, warm shart.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
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