kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
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