You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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