She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
