I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
He has the fingertips of a God
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