best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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