I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
