I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
