Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
