i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize