My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
so that wasnt chicken after all
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Randomize
