Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
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