i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
