I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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