woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Randomize
