Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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