K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
