He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
