the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Randomize
