It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
