ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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