Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
