Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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