he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
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