i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize