Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
