How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize
