I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
should my penis look like a turkey
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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