if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Randomize
