Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
