Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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