I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
