My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
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