Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Randomize
