I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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