Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
"it" just moved
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
