Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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