so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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