i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Randomize
