We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
