dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
