ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize