My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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