You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
