Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
