ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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