how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
