He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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