I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
