she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
