Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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