well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
