She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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