If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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