She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
