Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Randomize
