Ambien. No doubt about it.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Randomize
