What a fucking waste of an outfit
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Randomize