If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
