NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
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