I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
