I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
