Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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