i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Randomize
