i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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