I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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