Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
You smell like a Billy Joel song
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize