Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize
