Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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